Transformation Cafe Podcast

TC335 – Transformation Cafe – Best of 2016

Posted by on Jan 3, 2017 in Books, Cafe Book Club, Podcast | 1 comment

TC335 – Transformation Cafe – Best of 2016

In this episode host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost take a look back at 2016. Below is a list of the programs that you may want to listen to again or review if you missed them the first time. We did about fifty shows in 2016; here are some of our favorites.

Setting Your Intention

TC 283 – Letters To My Future Self – In this episode we talked about writing a letter to yourself in the future, inspired by the “Letters To My Future Self” diary. It contains writing prompts such as “where do I want to go”, “all the things I’d like to try someday”, “I promise myself to”, “I never want to forget this”, and other topics for self-reflection. You date the letter to be opened at whatever future date you specify, a year or two in the future. Then when that day arrives, you open the letter and can see how far you’ve come.

Being a Lifelong Seeker

TC 285:  On Being a Lifelong Seeker – In this episode we talked about how we are each lifelong seekers of wisdom, knowledge, spirituality, and other aspects of becoming a complete person. As Amy observes in tonight’s episode, that is who we are, and who we believe our core audience to be. We don’t have “a path”, or claim that we have “the answer”. Our goal is to present great books, amazing speakers, and introduce anyone who is interested to new information that we’ve discovered, and share our thoughts about what we’ve learned. We invite you to dialogue with us so we can learn from each other as we continue on our journey.

Cafe Book Club presented Presence by Amy Cuddy

The series on Presence ran from the end of January through March, so there are a number of really great episodes. Links to each episode are provided below.

TC 286: Cafe Book Club – Presence by Amy Cuddy – In this episode we kicked off the second book in our Cafe Book Club series: Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges by Amy Cuddy, PhD, Social Psychologist and Associate Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School.

TC 287: Cafe Book Club – Presence by Amy Cuddy  Part 2 – In this episode we discussed chapter 2 of Presence: “Believing and Owning Your Story”.

TC 288: Presence Part 3 – How Presence Begets Presence – This chapter is titled “Stop Preaching, Start Listening: How Presence Begets Presence”. It features a very moving story of how a group of pastors were able to address very serious problems of gang violence by being fully present.

TC 289: Presence Part 4: I Don’t Deserve To Be Here – In this chapter of Presence titled “I Don’t Deserve to Be Here”, Amy Cuddy explores the Impostor Phenomenon. Robin, Amy, Dr. Kymn and Michelle discuss how this mind set affects them, and suggest ways of dealing with self doubt.

TC 290:  Presence Part 5: How Powerlessness Shackles the Self – Robin and her guests discuss chapter 5 titled “How Powerlessness Shackles the Self (and How Power Sets It Free)”. Learn how Priming and nudges can build your personal power.

TC 291: Presence Part 6: The Language of the Body –  Robin and Amy Frost discuss the chapter titled “Slouching, Steepling, and the Language of the Body”.

TC 292: Presence Part 7: Pose for Presence –  In this episode we talk about how research has demonstrated that your emotional state follows the actions of the body. If you smile, you’ll feel happier. If you furrow your brow and grit your teeth, you’ll start to feel angry. And, as we’ve already seen, if you assume a power pose you’ll feel more confident.

TC 294: Posture, Technology, Starfish! –  Robin and her guests discussed posture, the benefits of Yoga and dance positions, and what research tells us about high- and low-power poses.

TC 295: How to Pose for Presence and Self-Nudging –  Highlights chapters 9 – 11 of Presence. This section summarizes some of the main points of this great book and shows us how we can apply what we’ve learned.

Living the Charged Life and The Happiness Quotient by Brendon Burchard

TC 297: Living the Charged Life and The Happiness Quotient – Robin, Amy, and Carolyn Ortman discuss Brendon Burchard’s work on living a Charged Life, and his High Performance Academy.

The 30-Day Sobriety Solution by Jack Canfield and Dave Andrews

TC 296: The 30-Day Sobriety Solution – This is Part 1 of a 2-part discussion of The 30 Day Sobriety Solution: How to Cut Back or Quit Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home by Jack Canfield and Dave Andrews. Part 2 of the discussion can be found in episode TC 299.

Healthy Narcissism?

TC 298: Healthy Narcissism? – This episode was one of our most popular shows. Seems that many people have a narcissist in their life (or are one themselves).

Helping our Veterans

TC 293: Healing PTS through Yoga and Breath Work – This episode discussed treating veterans that suffer from Post Traumatic Stress (PTS). Many veterans do not want to be treated with drugs or go to therapy, but until now there have been few alternatives to get the help they need.

TC 310: Trauma and TFT – Robin and Amy  interviewed Suzanne Connolly and Kristin Miller about TFT – Thought Field Therapy – as a treatment for Post Traumatic Stress.

In-person Interview with Mark Nepo

TC 301: The Transformational Journey – Interview with Mark Nepo – Robin interviews Mark Nepo, a best-selling author, poet, teacher, and philosopher. This episode was recorded at a special retreat that Mark held at Pine Manor, a unique facility nestled in the Cleveland National Forest near Lake Elsinore in Southern California.

Robin with Mark Nepo

Cafe Book Club presented Frientimacy by Shasta Nelson

Another book in the Cafe Book Club in 2016 was Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson. Studies have shown that friendship is a key to happiness. Shasta shows us how to cultivate friendships, deal with fear of rejection, jealousy, envy, and other roadblocks to intimacy, or what she calls “Frientimacy”. 

TC 302: Cafe Book Club: Introducing “Frientimacy” by Shasta Nelson

TC 303: Frientimacy: The Intimacy Gap

TC 304: Frientimacy: The Frientimacy Triangle, Intimacy Gaps, and Positivity

TC 305: Frientimacy: Consistency and Vulnerability

TC 306: Frientimacy: Doubting our Self Worth and Fear of Rejection

TC 307: Frientimacy: The Toxic Friend Trend

TC 308: Frientimacy: Envy, Jealousy, and Holding Ourselves Back

TC 314: Interview with Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy

Interview with Katherine Masiewicz of KEM Cosplay

In this episode we talked to Katherine Masiewicz (Robin’s daughter) about the fascinating world of Cosplay.

TC 311: The Culture of Cosplay: Bringing Art Alive

Katherine Masiewicz as “Carmalita”

Cafe Book Club presented “Passion, Spirit, Purpose” by Ana Weber

Another book in our Cafe Book Club. We had a chance to interview author Ana Weber, cover her book Passion, Spirit, Purpose, and then circle back with her again at the end. Ana is a prolific and interesting person, as you’ll see in the episodes below.

TC 315: Passion, Spirit, Purpose – Interview with Ana Weber

TC 316: Passion, Spirit, Purpose – Chapters 1 -2

TC 317: Passion, Spirit, Purpose – Chapters 3 – 7

TC 318: Passion, Spirit, Purpose – Chapters 8 – 12

TC 319: Passion, Spirit, Purpose – Chapters 13 – 17

TC 320: Passion, Spirit, Purpose – Chapters 18 – 21

TC 321: Interview with Ana Weber – Author of Passion, Spirit, Purpose

Conclusion

As you can see by this list of highlights, 2016 was packed with great guests, some terrific books, and a plethora of topics related to personal transformation. Amy Frost went from an occasional guest to co-host, and brought her insights and experience into the mix. Robin and Amy together make a great team (but I admit I am a bit biased!).

If you have any suggestions for topics you would like to see in the future, including any books you would like us to consider for the Cafe Book Club, then please leave a comment and let us know your thoughts. Our goal is to build a community and get more people involved in the conversation.

Thanks to all of you in the Transformation Community. We appreciate your support and hope that you will continue to journey with us in 2017 and beyond.

Happy New Year!

TC 334: Cafe Book Club – Codependent No More – Self-Care part 2

Posted by on Dec 30, 2016 in Codependent, Health & Healing, Podcast, Self-Care | 0 comments

TC 334: Cafe Book Club – Codependent No More – Self-Care part 2

In this week’s Cafe Book Club, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 10 -14 of  Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself and the companion Codependent No More Workbook by Melody Beattie. This is the second part on the Basics of Self Care.

Chapter 10 – Live Your Own Life

Melody says in Chapter 10: “The surest way to make ourselves crazy is to get involved in other people’s business, and the quickest way to become sane and happy is to tend to our own affairs.

Giving ourselves what we need is not difficult. I believe we can learn quickly. The formula is simple: In any given situation, detach and ask, “What do I need to do to take care of myself?

Activity

  1. As you go through the days ahead, stop and ask yourself what you need to do to take care of yourself. Do it as often as you need to, but do it at least once daily. If you are going through a crisis, you may need to do it every hour. Then give yourself what you need.
  2. What do you need from people around you? At an appropriate time, sit down with them and discuss what you need from them.

Chapter 11 – Have a Love Affair with Yourself

“We can cherish ourselves and our lives. We can nurture ourselves and love ourselves. We can accept our wonderful selves, with all our faults, foibles, strong points, weak points, feelings, thoughts, and everything else. It’s the best thing we’ve got going for us. It’s who we are, and who we were meant to be. And it’s not a mistake. We are the greatest thing that will ever happen to us. Believe it. It makes life much easier.”

Activity

How do you feel about yourself? Write about it. Include the things you like or don’t like about yourself. Reread what you have written.

 

Click the images below to order your copy of the book and workbook.

Cafe Book Club Schedule

You can join us live Tuesdays at 8 PM PST by calling 646-727-3206.

December 6: Part 1 : What’s Codependency, and Who’s Got It?  which covers chapters 1 – 4 of Codependent No More. Workbook Lesson 3 chap 3; Workbook Lesson 5 chap 4

December 13: Part 2: The Basics of Self-Care  chapters 5-9; Workbook Lesson 4 chap 7

December 20: Part 2 – The Basics of Self-Care Part 2 – Chapters 10-14; Workbook Lesson 3 chap 12; Workbook Lesson 6 chap 10

December 27: Dark – no show this week

January 2: Part 2 Chapters 15-20; Workbook Lesson 7 chap 17; Workbook Lesson 8 chap 20; Workbook Lesson 9 chap 18

January 10: Interview with Catie Fitzgerald on Nutrition and Codependence

Information about Melody:

Melody Beattie is one of America’s most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles.  Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term “codependency” in 1986.  Millions of readers have trusted Melody’s words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they’re going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child.

TC333: Cafe Book Club – Codependent No More – Ch 5 – 9

Posted by on Dec 19, 2016 in Cafe Book Club, Codependent, Podcast | 0 comments

TC333: Cafe Book Club – Codependent No More – Ch 5 – 9

In this week’s Cafe Book Club, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 5 – 9 of  Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself and the companion Codependent No More Workbook by Melody Beattie. These chapters focus on the Basics of Self Care.

Chapter 5: Detachment

In Chapter 5, Melody Beattie describes detachment as an underlying concept. “It is something we need to do frequently, as we strive to live happy lives. It is the goal of most recovery programs for codependents. And, it is something we must do first –before we can do the other things we need to do. We cannot begin to work on ourselves, to live our own lives, feel our own feelings, and solve our own problems until we have detached from the object of our obsession. From my experiences (and those of others), it appears that even our Higher Power can’t do much with us until we have detached.”

It (detachment) is not detaching from the person whom we care about, but from the agony of involvement. –AL-ANON Member

Detachment involves “present moment living” – living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day.

Detachment also involves accepting reality–the facts. It requires faith–in ourselves, in God, in other people, and in the natural order and destiny of things in this world.

Detachment does not mean we don’t care. It means we learn to love, care, and be involved without going crazy. We stop creating all this chaos in our minds and environments. When we are not anxiously and compulsively thrashing about, we become able to make good decisions about how to love people, and how to solve our problems. We become free to care and love in ways that help others and don’t hurt ourselves.

Chapter 6: Don’t Be Blown About by Every Wind

Most codependents are reactionaries. We react with anger, guilt, shame, self-hate, worry, hurt, controlling gestures, caretaking acts, depression, desperation and fury. We react with fear and anxiety.

When we react we forfeit our personal, God-given power to think, feel, and behave in our best interests.

We react because we’re anxious and afraid of what has happened, what might happen, and what is happening.

We don’t have to behave this way

We don’t have to be so afraid of people. They are people like us.

We don’t have to forfeit our peace. It doesn’t help.

We don’t have to forfeit our power to think and feel for anyone or anything. That is also not required of us.

We don’t have to take things so seriously (ourselves, events, and other people). 

We don’t have to take things so personally. 

Melody offers suggestions in Chapter 6 to help you detach from people and your destructive reactions to them. Refer to pages 70 – 72 in the book to find out what she suggests.

Click the images below to order your copy of the book and workbook.

 

Cafe Book Club Schedule

You can join us live Tuesdays at 8 PM PST by calling 646-727-3206.

December 6: Part 1 : What’s Codependency, and Who’s Got It?  which covers chapters 1 – 4 of Codependent No More. Workbook Lesson 3 chap 3; Workbook Lesson 5 chap 4

December 13: Part 2: The Basics of Self-Care – chapters 5-9; Workbook Lesson 4 chap 7; Workbook Lesson 10 chap 8

December 20: Part 2 – Chapters 10-14; Workbook Lesson 3 chap 12; Workbook Lesson 6 chap 10

December 27: Dark – no show this week

January 2: Part 2 Chapters 15-20; Workbook Lesson 7 chap 17; Workbook Lesson 8 chap 20; Workbook Lesson 9 chap 18

Information about Melody:

Melody Beattie is one of America’s most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles.  Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term “codependency” in 1986.  Millions of readers have trusted Melody’s words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they’re going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child.

TC332: Cafe Book Club – Codependent No More Ch 1 – 4

Posted by on Dec 12, 2016 in Cafe Book Club, Codependent, Podcast | 0 comments

TC332: Cafe Book Club – Codependent No More Ch 1 – 4

In this week’s Cafe Book Club, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost and Amy’s friend Joan discuss chapters 1 – 4 of  Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself and the companion Codependent No More Workbook by Melody Beattie.

Quote from Chapter 3:

Relationships are like a dance, with visible energy racing back and forth between the partners. Some relationships are the slow, dark dance of death.

— Colette Dowling

What is Codependency?

In an article from the book Co-Dependency, An Emerging Issue, Robert Subby wrote codependency is “an emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual’s prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules–rules which prevent the open expression of feeling as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems.”

Melody Beattie defines codependent as: “A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior.”

“The other person might be a child, an adult, a lover, a spouse, a brother, a sister, a grandparent, a parent, a client, or a best friend. He or she can be a drug addict, a mentally or physically ill person, a normal person who occasionally has sad feelings, or one of the people mentioned earlier.”

“But, the heart of the definition and recovery lies not in the other person–no matter how much we believe it does. It lies in ourselves, in the ways we have let other people’s behavior affect us and in the ways we try to affect them: the obsessing, the controlling, the obsessive “helping”, caretaking, low self-worth bordering on self-hatred, self-repression, abundance of anger and guilt. . . attraction to and tolerance for the bizarre, other-centeredness that results in abandonment of self, communication problems, intimacy problems, and on ongoing whirlwind trip through the five-stage grief process.”

Click the images below to order your copy of the book and workbook.

 

Cafe Book Club Schedule

You can join us live Tuesdays at 8 PM PST by calling 646-727-3206.

December 6: Part 1 : What’s Codependency, and Who’s Got It?  which covers chapters 1 – 4 of Codependent No More. Workbook Lesson 3 chap 3; Workbook Lesson 5 chap 4

December 13: Part 2: Chapters 5-9; Workbook Lesson 4 chap 7; Workbook Lesson 10 chap 8

December 20: Part 2 – Chapters 10-14; Workbook Lesson 3 chap 12; Workbook Lesson 6 chap 10

December 27: Dark – no show this week

January 2: Part 2 Chapters 15-20; Workbook Lesson 7 chap 17; Workbook Lesson 8 chap 20; Workbook Lesson 9 chap 18

Information about Melody:

Melody Beattie is one of America’s most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles.  Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term “codependency” in 1986.  Millions of readers have trusted Melody’s words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they’re going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child.

TC331: Celebrating the 30th Anniversary of “Codependent No More”

Posted by on Dec 5, 2016 in Alcohol, Codependent, Podcast | 0 comments

TC331: Celebrating the 30th Anniversary of “Codependent No More”

This week host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss Melody Beattie’s ground-breaking book Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself and the companion Codependent No More Workbook. 2016 marks the 30th anniversary of the book, and to date more than 8 million copies have been sold, 6 million in the US. This will be the next book in our Cafe Book Club series.

According to Melody, codependency is the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another, often while struggling with a loved one’s self-destructive behavior.

“Codependents need boundaries. We need to set limits on what we shall do to and for people”.

The key principles of the book continue to resonate: Knowing when to say no and when to say yes. Taking responsibility for your choices. Setting boundaries. Learning to let go.  Forgiveness after feeling your feelings–not before. Self-expression. Loving others but loving yourself too.

 

hard-to-give-up

melody-beattie

Melody Beattie

Cafe Book Club Schedule

You can join us live Tuesdays at 8 PM PST by calling 646-727-3206.

December 6: Part 1 : What’s Codependency, and Who’s Got It?  which covers chapters 1 – 4 of Codependent No More. Workbook Lesson 3 chap 3; Workbook Lesson 5 chap 4

December 13: Part 2: Chapters 5-9; Workbook Lesson 4 chap 7; Workbook Lesson 10 chap 8

December 20: Part 2 – Chapters 10-14; Workbook Lesson 3 chap 12; Workbook Lesson 6 chap 10

December 27: Dark – no show this week

January 2: Part 2 Chapters 15-20; Workbook Lesson 7 chap 17; Workbook Lesson 8 chap 20; Workbook Lesson 9 chap 18

Information about Melody:

Melody Beattie is one of America’s most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles.  Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term “codependency” in 1986.  Millions of readers have trusted Melody’s words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they’re going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child.

TC330: Building a Community of Fitness

Posted by on Nov 28, 2016 in Fitness, Personal Development, Podcast | 0 comments

TC330: Building a Community of Fitness

In this week’s podcast we welcome Debbie Carreon to discuss how some fitness clubs are changing from some place just to exercise, to a place where you can develop friendships and build a sense of community.

Strengthening Community Ties

Beyond just the desire to look good and be fit, the issue that’s becoming increasingly important, especially as our population ages, is community. Social isolation is a serious issue, and can lead to many health-related problems that have a wide-reaching effect. One reason people join a fitness facility is to feel they are part of a social network. In addition to having a fun place to meet people, members are engaging in healthy activities.

The relationship between personal trainers and clients becomes even more important as clients enter their golden years. Some clubs mix young, energetic trainers with older clients; it is good for both parties. It’s equally important to have older people on staff to reflect how everyone at every age contributes to a sense of belonging. An older workforce brings wisdom and fosters mentorship, which strengthens community.

The Happiness Quotient

Ultimately, people want to be happy. In most cases, a buying decision is rooted in the desire for happiness, whether the purchase is a vacation, a new car, a better house or new shoes; the underlying motivation for spending money is happiness. When someone is considering buying a membership or personal training package, she is imagining a healthier body. Why have a healthier body? To be happier and more satisfied with life. A healthy body is important to overall happiness and peace of mind. It’s hard to be happy when the thought of clothes shopping causes despair or when you’re in constant pain and discomfort. Some people even fear pursuing happiness because they believe the pursuit is selfish, impossible or both.

Trainers that understand this fear and the desire for happiness have empathy for customers and support them on their journeys to health and happiness. This desire for happiness is not only a possibility; it’s a necessity for a fulfilling life! Happy people create more happiness.

Guest: Debbie Carreon, General Manager 24 Hour Fitness

TC329: Grief Recovery with guest Mikki Wade

Posted by on Nov 21, 2016 in Grief, Health & Healing, Podcast | 1 comment

TC329: Grief Recovery with guest Mikki Wade

On this week’s show we welcome back Mikki Wade, a pastor and certified grief recovery practitioner. Mikki describes what grief is, describes the signs to look for in yourself and others, and discusses some of the common myths associated with grief.


 

What is grief?

According to John W. James and Russell Friedman, “Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change of a familiar pattern of behavior.”

Grief can be the result of any change, positive or negative. It can be triggered by death of a loved one, divorce, loss of health, loss of a job, financial issues, abuse, and many other events. It can also be triggered by positive changes like getting a new job and moving to a new city.

Recommended Resources

Updated to commemorate its 20th anniversary, the Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman further explores the effects of grief and sheds new light on how to begin to take effective actions to complete the grieving process and work towards recovery and happiness.


Common responses to grief:

Reduced concentration – you may go the the kitchen and then forget why you went there

A sense of numbness – physically, emotionally, or both

Disturbed sleep patterns – not being able to sleep or sleeping too much, or both alternately

Change in eating habits – grievers may have no appetite or may eat nonstop, or both alternately

Roller coaster of emotional energy – emotional highs and lows that can be emotionally and physically draining

These are all normal and natural responses to loss. Their duration is unique to every individual. They are not stages and they do not always occur. Do not allow anyone to create time frames or stages for you.

Trying to overcome grief with your head is like trying to paint a room with a hammer. Good luck with that.

Myths about grief:

The following are common ways we’re told to get over grief, either directly or modeled by the behavior of others. They are labeled “myths” because these methods are no more effective than treating a gushing wound to the body by “just getting over it” would be.

Don’t feel bad – don’t cry, just get over it, etc. Trying to suppress your natural reaction to loss won’t make things better.

Replace the loss – replace the loss with food, or a substitute for what or who you’ve lost. Daughter: “My dog died!” Dad: “Don’t cry, we’ll buy you another dog on Saturday”.

Grieve alone – don’t cry in front of others. “Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone”. We’re told to hide our feelings and not bother others.

Just give it time – “Time heals all wounds”. No it doesn’t. Actions taken over time heals the wound.

Be strong for others – We say “I’m fine” when asked how we are, even if we’re not fine. We perpetuate the lie and act like there is nothing wrong.

Keep busy – being busy will keep your mind off your loss, and you’ll eventually get over it. Again, this doesn’t work.

A griever needs to be listened to, not fixed.

About Mikki Wade

mikki-wade

Mikki Wade is the founder and CEO of True Reality, Inc., an inspirational speaker, life coach and author.  Born in Central Africa, Mikki’s childhood was not an easy one. Like many, his family was a dysfunctional one and as a result he didn’t have a good relationship with his father. His mother, however, meant the world to him. When Mikki was 12, his father moved him and his siblings back to America where he was originally from. Mikki’s mother, however, stayed behind. She died the following year and, living miles away, Mikki never got to say goodbye.

Today, Mikki measures his success by balance; balanced Finances, Relationships, Emotions, Spirituality and Health (F.R.E.S.H.). Mikki desires to share how others can be balanced too through his workshops and and through the Grief Recovery Method® classes he facilitates.

TC328: What Now? Accepting “What Is” and Turning Anger into Compassionate, Meaningful Action

Posted by on Nov 12, 2016 in Acceptance, Current Events, Grief, Mindfulness, Podcast | 1 comment

TC328: What Now? Accepting “What Is” and Turning Anger into Compassionate, Meaningful Action

In this timely episode of the Transformation Cafe podcast, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost welcome Mikki Wade, a grief recovery specialist and life coach. This show was recorded on November 8 – Election Night in the U.S.

Amy observes that whatever happens with the U.S. election, nearly 50% of the population is going to be unhappy. The night of the election as people began to realize the outcome, some people were happy and excited, and others were shocked and depressed. The only thing that is certain is that the future is uncertain. Change is hard, and even positive change can cause uneasiness and anxiety.

acceptance-fox

Since the election there has been protests in major U.S. cities: Los Angeles; New Haven, Connecticut; Orlando; Chicago; Boston; Asheville, North Carolina; Nashville; and Columbus, Ohio, and there were marches at schools in Denver and Omaha, Nebraska. Groups across the country are angry about policies Trump has promised to enforce concerning immigration, the environment, LGBT rights and other issues.

Some people are trying to stay positive and keep an open mind, where others are struggling to cope with the new reality. It is perfectly natural to feel sad, depressed, angry, fearful, and a host of other emotions. These are all symptoms of grief, and now about half of the country is experiencing some form of it.

mandy-hale-accept-person-situation

Dealing with Post-Election Anxiety

Cosmopolitan magazine has a great article called 14 Effective Ways to Deal with Post-Election Anxiety.  “Feeling out of control can cause symptoms of fear, depression, and anxiety,” says Dr. Jennifer Caudle, DO, family physician, assistant professor at Rowan University School of Osteopathic Medicine, who’s counseled scores of patients suffering from stress and anxiety.

The transitional period between administrations only worsens the situation. “Uncertainty almost always increases anxiety, so it’s totally normal to feel anxious after an election,” says Dr. Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a Manhattan-based psychologist. “Even if you’re pleased with the chosen candidate, you still don’t know exactly what life will be like with the changes ahead.”

Another good article from PositivelyPresent.com includes a section on 4 Ways to Accept What Is (Even When It’s Sad).

Amy recommends reading “A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama’s Vision for Our World” by Daniel Goleman.

“Far from being a self-help book, this examines specific ideas espoused by the Dalai Lama, such as emotional hygiene, compassionate economy, and education of the heart that can make the world a better place. An optimistic and thoughtful primer with practical applications.”—Booklist

Maybe so, Maybe not. We’ll see.

There is a Chinese Proverb that goes something like this…

A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

wild_horses

Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

The moral of this story, is, of course, that no event, in and of itself, can truly be judged as good or bad, lucky or unlucky, fortunate or unfortunate, but that only time will tell the whole story. Additionally, no one really lives long enough to find out the ‘whole story,’ so it could be considered a great waste of time to judge minor inconveniences as misfortunes or to invest tons of energy into things that look outstanding on the surface, but may not pay off in the end.

The wiser thing, then, is to live life in moderation, keeping as even a temperament as possible, taking all things in stride, whether they originally appear to be ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ Life is much more comfortable and comforting if we merely accept what we’re given and make the best of our life circumstances. Rather than always having to pass judgement on things and declare them as good or bad, it would be better to just sit back and say, “It will be interesting to see what happens.”

About Mikki Wade

mikki-wade

Mikki Wade is the founder and CEO of True Reality, Inc., an inspirational speaker, life coach and author.  Born in Central Africa, Mikki’s childhood was not an easy one. Like many, his family was a dysfunctional one and as a result he didn’t have a good relationship with his father. His mother, however, meant the world to him. When Mikki was 12, his father moved him and his siblings back to America where he was originally from. Mikki’s mother, however, stayed behind. She died the following year and, living miles away, Mikki never got to say goodbye.

Today, Mikki measures his success by balance; balanced Finances, Relationships, Emotions, Spirituality and Health (F.R.E.S.H.). Mikki desires to share how others can be balanced too through his workshops and and through the Grief Recovery Method® classes he facilitates.

TC327: Making Food Your Friend for the Holidays

Posted by on Nov 7, 2016 in Health & Healing, Nutrition, Podcast | 1 comment

TC327: Making Food Your Friend for the Holidays

This week host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost welcome Catie Fitzgerald to discuss eating guilt-free for the holidays, how foods can help you feel calmer, have more energy, and even boost your immune system. Catie will share ways to modify recipes so they are not only have fewer calories, and are better for you, but are also more flavorful.

Catie is a former professional figure skater and ballet dancer, and has had a passion for personal health and fitness from an early age. At age 16 Catie’s mother lost a battle with cancer, which made her want to learn more about what we can do to help our bodies to be healthy and prevent disease. Catie will be completing a Master’s degree in Holistic Nutrition in the next few months.

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What is an optimal diet?

An optimal diet really starts with whole foods; foods that come in the package that mother nature provided. It also focuses on organic foods because they are exposed to fewer synthetic pesticides and herbicides, which reduces the overall toxin burden on our body. These toxins are known to cause cancer and other diseases in increase aging.

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Organic foods are expensive. What if I can’t afford to buy all organic?

If buying all organic foods is not within your budget, the Environmental Working Group (EWG) recommends that you at least buy “The Dirty Dozen“, which have the highest amount of residual pesticides and herbicides present on their surface or within their flesh. Strawberries and apples are at the top of the list. See the Resources section below for links to additional articles.

Eat Seasonally

Another tip is to eat seasonally. Seasonal foods are those foods that are at their peak during that time of year. Here’s a link to a Seasonal Food Guide for the United States. Just select your state and choose the month or produce to see when it is is season. There’s also a Seasonality Table from the BBC that includes fruit, vegetables, meat and game, and fish and seafood. We’ve also included another link in the Resources section.

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Eat Locally Grown Food

“Locally grown” refers to food and other agricultural products (for example, wool or flowers) that are grown or produced, processed and then sold within a certain area. However, there’s no standard definition of “local,” and so businesses touting their “locally grown products” may be using very different definitions. A distance of 100 miles is generally accepted as “local”, but some stores will say it’s local if it’s grown in the same state.

The advantage of eating locally is that the food did not have to be packed and trucked long distances before it gets to you, which diminishes its nutritional value. Also supporting local growers has an impact on the economy of the area in which you live. Makes sense to me.

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Four Ways Food Can Be Your Friend

  1. Foods can help keep you immune system strong – eat foods high in vitamin A, C, and E. Zinc is useful to help prevent colds.
  2. Food can help provide the additional energy required to get through the long busy days that the holidays evoke – eat foods rich in B vitamins, Magnesium and Chromium to give your cells the raw materials to convert the food you consume to the energy you need. Shellfish, beef liver, bell peppers, spinach, parsley, beets, turnip greens, broccoli and beets are good sources of B vitamins.
  3. Food can give your mood a boost – Holy Basil! Holy basil is an example of an herb that can enhance your mood and help you fight off disease. B vitamins and Omega 3 fatty acids are important nutrients that help brain function and can be used to relieve depression. Flaxseed oil, fish oil, chia seeds, walnuts, soybeans and spinach are good sources of Omega 3 fatty acids.
  4. Food can trigger a sense of nostalgia and are often related to fond memories of childhood

Make your own yogurt

Eating yogurt is good for your digestion. It’s easy to make with devices like the Euro Cuisine YM80 Yogurt Maker

Quick Reference Guide

Catie has provided a Quick Reference Guide that you can download by clicking the link below.

Quick Reference Guide: Food – Your Friend at the Holidays

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Resources

What’s in Season Nowhttp://www.cuesa.org/eat-seasonally

The Dirty Dozen (foods to buy organic) – If your budget won’t cover purchasing all organic produce then invest your organic budget on these foods which have the highest amount of residual pesticides and herbicides present on their surface or within their flesh https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/dirty_dozen_list.php

The Clean Fifteen (foods “safe” to buy non-organic) – These foods in their conventional forms (i.e. non-organic) have the lowest pesticide and herbicide residue so if budget is an object you can purchase the conventional grown varieties https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/clean_fifteen_list.php.

Resource to find foods rich in a specific nutrient: http://www.whfoods.com/

The Benefits of Eating Seasonallyhttp://financiallysavvy.blogspot.com/2014/07/eating-foods-in-season-is-supportive-of.html 

Saving Money on Your Food Billhttp://financiallysavvy.blogspot.com/2010_01_01_archive.html

6 Ways Food Affects Your Mood – http://www.everydayhealth.com/news/ways-food-affects-your-mood/

Catie Fitzgerald Contact Info

Email: catie.fitzgerald@yahoo.com

Phone: 702-605-0218

Facebook: www.facebook.com/amazingskinbegins

 

TC326: Staying Stress-Free for the Holidays

Posted by on Oct 31, 2016 in Future, Holidays, Podcast | 0 comments

TC326: Staying Stress-Free for the Holidays

In this episode of the Transformation Cafe podcast, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost talk about making the most out of the holiday season, and offer some ideas on how you can make them more meaningful.

Here are just a few of the great tips from the article 25 Ways to Fight Holiday Stress from Health.com.

Hike your mood with sunlight

It stimulates the production of feel-good serotonin and also helps relieve seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which impacts millions of Americans every year, says Judith Orloff, MD, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles.

To ease SAD symptoms, spend time outdoors or near a window on sunny days, or ask your doc about phototherapy (a treatment using a box that emits full-spectrum light).

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Walk away from worries

Walking has a tranquilizing effect on your brain, it decreases anxiety and improves your sleep.

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Do less, enjoy more

Instead of going overboard trying to please others during the holidays and attending every event, take care of yourself and say “no” to at least once, maybe more.

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Forget perfection

Stop obsessing over doing it all. The world is not going to end if the house is a little cluttered or dinner is on the table a few minutes late.

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Eat breakfast before you tank up on coffee

Caffeine on an empty stomach can cause blood sugar levels to spike, which can cause attention problems and irritability.

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Don’t overschedule

If you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed by your holiday agenda, don’t over schedule your time and take on more than you can manage. Remember: It’s OK to slow down a bit.

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Next week we’ll continue our discussion on stress-free holidays. Our guest will be Katie Fitzgerald, and she’ll help us learn how to eat food that loves us back!

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