TC 304: The Frientimacy Triangle, Intimacy Gaps, and Positivity

TC 304: The Frientimacy Triangle, Intimacy Gaps, and Positivity

In this episode of the Transformation Cafe, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss chapters 3 – 5 of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson. This section focuses on the Frientimacy Triangle, Identifying the 5 Intimacy Gaps, and Positivity: Giving and Receiving.

“Simply stated, frientimacy is any relationship where two people feel really seen in a way that feels satisfying and safe for both of them.”


“So how can we find frientimacy?”

  • For us to feel SATISFIED, we must feel our interaction is rewarding, practicing POSITIVITY with each other.
  • For us to feel SAFE, we must feel some level of trust, practicing CONSISTENCY with each other.
  • For us to feel SEEN, we must be willing to reveal ourselves, practicing being VULNERABLE with each other.

The Frientimacy Triangle consists of the qualities of Commitment, Vulnerability, and Positivity. As Shasta describes it:

“To initiate, cultivate, and safeguard our intimacy, we must practice three things: positivity, consistency, and vulnerability.”

Frientimacy = positivity + consistency + vulnerability


The Frientimacy Triangle. In this model Positivity forms the base.

If you haven’t already done so, we encourage you to get your own copy of Frientimacy and join the discussion. You can leave a comment, or call in to the show live on Tuesday night at 8 PM Pacific time. The call-in number is (646) 727-3206. We’d love to hear from you!


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