TC 303: Cafe Book Club – Frientimacy: The Intimacy Gap

TC 303: Cafe Book Club – Frientimacy: The Intimacy Gap

In this week’s podcast host Robin Masiewicz, co-host Amy Frost, and guest Dr. Kymn start our exploration of  Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson, a nationally recognized friendship expert. This episode covers chapters 1 and 2 – The Intimacy Gap.

The Intimacy Gap

This section includes an assessment to help you evaluate were you are in terms of relationships. The “intimacy gap” is the difference between the level of intimacy we are experiencing in our friendships, and the level we wish we were experiencing. Shasta describes this gap in the video below.

“With the constant connectivity of today’s world, it’s never been easier to meet people and make new friends—but it’s never been harder to form meaningful friendships.”

Group of female friends

Shasta makes the case that we are living in the “Age of Loneliness”.

“So I’d like to clarify what I do and don’t mean when I say we’re lonely. We’re not lonely because we don’t have any friends, we’re lonely because those friends don’t always leave us feeling better after spending time with them.”

Robin and Amy discuss the workbook that accompanies the book, and how they are finding it to be a valuable tool to explore this subject. You can find the workbook on Shasta’s website.

Tentative Schedule:

Chapters 1-2 – The Intimacy Gap
Chapters 3-5  – The Frientimacy Triangle, Identifying the 5 Intimacy Gaps and Positivity – Giving and Receiving
Chapters 6 -7 –  Consistency – Building Trust and Vulnerability – Deeper Meaning
Chapters 8-10 – Leaning into Intimacy – Obstacles Doubting our Self Worth and Fear of Rejection
Chapters 11-13 – Obstacles – The Toxic Friend, Jealousy and Envy and Holding Ourselves Back
Conclusion – retake the quiz… come prepared to talk about what you learned and what are our next steps in friendship.

We invite you to join us each week as we work through the book and explore how we can implement the ideas in our own lives. You can support the Transformation-Cafe by purchasing  Frientimacy using this link, or use the link in the Cafe Book Club Selection in the sidebar. It won’t cost you any more, but it helps us to continue providing new content. Thanks!

About Shasta:

Shasta Nelson, M.Div., is the Founder of, a women’s friendship matching site in 65 cities across the U.S. and Canada. Her spirited and soulful voice for strong female relationships can be found in her books Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness and Friendships Don’t Just Happen! The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsShe also writes at and in the Huffington Post, speaks across the country, and is a friendship expert in the media appearing on such shows as Katie Couric and the Today Show.

Shasta’s Links:

Shasta Nelson
Shasta’s Friendship Blog


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