TC347: Cafe Book Club presents The Book of Joy – Pillar 5: Forgiveness
In this week’s podcast, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost continue their discussion on The Book of Joy. This week we focus on Pillar 5: Forgiveness.
“Forgiveness does not mean we forget. You should remember the negative thing, but because there is a possibility to develop hatred, we mustn’t allow ourselves to be led in that direction–we choose forgiveness.”
Forgiveness do not mean you forget what someone has done, contrary to the saying “Forgive and Forget.” Not reacting with negativity, or giving in to the negative emotions, does not mean you do not respond to the acts or that you allow yourself to be harmed again. Forgiveness does not mean that you do not seek justice or that the perpetrator is not punished.
“There is an important distinction between forgiveness and simply allowing others’ wrongdoing. Sometimes people misunderstand and think forgiveness means you accept or approve of wrongdoing. No, this is not the case. We must make an important distinction. The actor and action, or the person and what he has done. Where the wrong action is concerned, it may be necessary to take appropriate counteraction to stop it. Toward the actor, or the person, however, you can choose not to develop anger and hatred. This is where the power of forgiveness lies–not losing sight of the humanity of the person while responding to the wrong with clarity and firmness.”
Forgiveness is the only wan to heal ourselves and to be free from the past. Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us. We are bound to the chains of bitterness, tied together, trapped. Until we can forgive the person who harmed us, that person will hold the keys to our happiness, that person will be our jailor. When we forgive we take back control of our own fate and our feelings. We become our own liberator.”
The Eight Pillars of Joy:
- Perspectives: There are many different angles
- Humility: I try to look humble and modest
- Humor: Laughter, joking is much better
- Acceptance: The only place where change can begin
- Forgiveness: Freeing ourselves from the past
- Gratitude: I am fortunate to be alive
- Compassion: Something we want to become
- Generosity: We are filled with joy